Our daughter will be born in China. She will look different than me. People will notice. There will be questions. I do not plan to ignore them. I will teach. It is not our goal to raise a "colorblind" child. There is no such thing. Our goal is to raise a happy, self-assured, smart, compassionate, woman. We will not ignore her differences but will celebrate them. God created us all and we are all beautiful and loved as His children. I've been told that we cannot protect Ivy from everything. This is true. It is true of any child. However, as her mother, you better believe I will protect her from everything I possibly can. She will not hear anything negative about our family or herself from anyone who is close to us or they will not be close to us much longer. Sorry if the post is more of a rant but it is what is laying heavy on my heart right now.
Some advice: If you are out in a store and see a family that appears to have adopted. One really nice way of acknowledging or affirming a trans racial family's adoption status without prying about adoption in front of the child is to simply say, "you have a really beautiful family." Please just leave it at that. If the family wants to share information they will. But honestly do think they want to tell the details of their adoption every time they need to go the grocery store? Questions such as, "Where are they from?", "What happened to their mother?", "What is she/he?" "You didn't want one of your own?"
I fully expect to get these types of questions once Ivy is here. I already get a million twin questions when we go out. Some of them being very private and invasive. I am sure that most people ask questions out of curiosity and not in harm. But I just ask that you take a moment and think about your questions before you ask a stranger.
Mark 12:31 Love they neighbor as thy self. There is no commandment great than these.
color blind? yuck. color aware? yes. because his color (and all colors) are beautiful!
ReplyDeletei hate the whole "i'll teach my kid to be color blind" thing that some adoptive parents have going on...HA! the world is so not that way so why not celebrate those differences/learn about another's cultures so the child can be proud and self-assured?
we get the "where is he from?" a lot. (they're disappointed when we say georgia) or the "wow, you sure are good people"...nope, we're just a mama and a daddy who wanted to love another child. etc. etc.
so happy for y'all and ivy by the way! can't wait to see a picture of her when you find each other! :)
Natalie I just adore your family! I love the all the values you have and how crafty you are. You are an inspiration! Happy to call you my friend. :)
Delete